… and I shambled after as I’ve been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’ What did they call such young people in Goethe’s Germany?’
A hotel room, for me, has an implication of voluptuousness, furtive, short lived. Perhaps my not seeing Henry has heightened my hunger. I masturbate often, luxuriously, without remorse or after distaste. For the first time I know what it is to eat. I have gained four pounds. I get frantically hungry, and the food I eat gives me a lingering pleasure. I never ate before in this deep carnal way. I have only three desires now, to eat, to sleep, and to fuck. The cabarets excite me. I want to hear raucous music, to see faces, to brush against bodies, to drink fiery Benedictine. Beautiful women and handsome men arouse fierce desires in me. I want to dance. I want drugs. I want to know perverse people, to be intimate with them. I never look at naïve faces. I want to bite into life, and to be torn by it. Henry does not give me all this. I have aroused his love. Curse his love. He can fuck me as no one else can, but I want more than that. I’m going to hell, to hell, to hell. Wild, wild, wild.
Excerpt from Henry and June: From the Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin
Gergen, Gergen, & Barton (1973) placed participants in a room with 6 to 8 other people for an hour. Room was completely dark, and participants were informed that they would be completely anonymous. There was no way to identify who was in the room.
In the dark, participants quickly developed a sense of intimacy: 90% touched each other on purpose, 80% felt sexual arousal, they all discussed important and personal matters. People kissed. In the dark, participants felt “free” yet “serious”.
A follow-up study was conducted where participants were informed they would meet up after sitting in the dark. It was found that under such a condition, participants were less likely to explore the chamber, more likely to feel bored, less likely to introduce themselves, less likely to hug, less likely to feel “close to another person” and more likely to feel panic.
"People share strong yearnings to be close to each other. However, our social norms make it too costly to express these feelings …"